Gigantic Brewing Company Kölschtastic (#54) – Kölsch at 5.2% ABV | 20 IBU

Gigantic Brewing Company Kölschtastic (#54) Kölsch at 5.2% ABV | 20 IBU (C$9.99 at Oak & Vine, 650 ml, no packaging date or best before, acquired 19-Jul-2018, reviewed 23-Jul-2018)

Appearance: slightly hazy pale gold with one finger of rocky white head, excellent retention and moderate soapy lacing. (4/5) Aroma: pale grainy malt, light orchard fruit, hint of floral. (8/10) Taste: moderate sweet, moderate bitter. (8/10) Palate: medium body, moderate carbonation, off-dry medium bitter finish. (4/5)

It’s tough evaluating a style on its merits when you don’t particularly like the style all that much. It’s not that I actively dislike many styles, y’know, just that there are some that don’t generally excite me. Which is why I like the highly-hopped/barrel-aged/generally-fucked-with versions of those styles. Take Kölsch, for instance: it’s supposed to be delicate and balanced. Now, those of you who have met me in person will likely generally agree that I am among the most indelicate and unbalanced individuals out there, so how could I possibly enjoy that? OK, fine, like Red Green’s Men’s Prayer says: “I’m a man… but I can change… if I have to… I guess.” Let’s do this one on its merits, by the numbers, quoting the 2015 BJCP Style Guide:

Appearance: Very pale gold to light gold. Very clear (authentic commercial versions are filtered to a brilliant clarity). Has a delicate white head that may not persist. Docking it for the slight haze. Otherwise, in-spec. 4/5

Aroma: Low to very low malt aroma, with a grainy-sweet character. A pleasant, subtle fruit aroma from fermentation (apple, cherry or pear) is acceptable, but not always present. A low floral, spicy or herbal hop aroma is optional but not out of style. Some yeast strains may give a slight winy or sulfury character (this characteristic is also optional, but not a fault). Overall, the intensity of aromatics is fairly subtle but generally balanced, clean, and fresh. Checks out. No sulphur, which I personally find to be a big negative. This is actually slightly too heavy for the subtle and delicate nature dictated by the specification. Could stand to be brighter and lighter. 8/10

Flavor: Soft, rounded palate comprised of a delicate flavor balance between soft yet attenuated malt, an almost imperceptible fruity sweetness from fermentation, and a medium-low to medium bitterness with a delicate dryness and slight crispness in the finish (but no harsh aftertaste). The malt tends to be grainy-sweet, possibly with a very light bready or honey quality. The hop flavor is variable, and can range from low to moderately-high; most are medium-low to medium intensity and have a floral, spicy, or herbal character. May have a malty-sweet impression at the start, but this is not required. No noticeable residual sweetness. May have a slightly winy, minerally, or sulfury accent that accentuates the dryness and flavor balance. A slight wheat taste is rare but not a fault. Otherwise, very clean. Blah blah blah. Yes to bready and honey. Slight residual sticky sweetness, not as dry as it could be. Clean, but not “very clean”. 8/10

Mouthfeel: Medium-light to medium body (most are medium-light). Medium to medium-high carbonation. Smooth and generally crisp and well-attenuated. Body tending slightly heavy, carbonation tending slightly low, crispness and attenuation just slightly low. 4/5

Jesus, if I had to do that every time, I think I’d shoot myself. Or, worse, stop drinking. It’s good, OK? Well executed version of the style. Lord, I need a drink… (16/20)

8/10 #ryansbooze